I wrote a thing but can’t do a readmore on my phone sorryyy
this was a shit day on top of a shit week on top of a shit month.
I legitimately got home from work and fell asleep on the goddamn TOILET.
I have a paper due tomorrow that I just haven’t started yet.
Also I’m getting sick from the lack of sleep I’ve had for the last 3 and a half weeks.
but then after I woke up and showered tonight, I realized something. I’m absolutely fucking miserable. but even though everything is shit right now, I’m fucking miserable in new york. which is still better than being happy back home in new jersey.
Today my friend told me she would be having mental breakdowns every day if she were me. I thought about it the rest of my shift because why /haven’t/ I had a breakdown yet?
it’s because I’m here. it has to be.
I can’t think of another explanation. I legitimately believe that being here, working here, and going to school here is saving me from completely breaking down and losing my mind. at this point I would have.
everything’s temporary. living here is but so is my miserableness. I just need to make sure the miserableness goes away first. by next week I should be fully caught up on homework. more people will be at work so I won’t have to work as many shifts.
there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. it’s just not plugged in at the moment